I usually have so many things I want to do that I can never get them all done in the day, but recently I havent wanted to do anything Ive just been kind of blank.

Ive also started feeling stuff that I havent felt for ages. Not sure if its good or not.

Oh well I have a second interview with Lush tomorrow so Im hoping that goes well, but because this is me Im paniking madly about every little thing.

Also this time next week I will be watching elliot minor. There an awsome English band Ive been following for a long long time now so Im really excited that there going to be playing in my hometown!

Its also only like 46 days-ish until I see Simple Plan. Something that will hopefully cheer me up!

Anywho the point of this journal is to say Im probably going to be taking a little break and not coming on for a while.

But I warn you when Im back Ill be back with avengance!

Take care everyone

xxxx

And I have become rather passionate about getting the UK street team to the top of the leader board!

So having said that you should definatly check out these sites!

But moving on, we came through these struggles and I think were closer than ever now. So here is my latest journal, dedicated to my wonderful Best Friend, Miss Donna.

She is the most amazing girl ever. She looks after me when I need her and shes always there for me whatever time of day or night I call.

She is beautiful, she is talented and she is a wonderful friend, I couldnt ask for more.

I cant wait to see what else we do together, and I cant wait to see what she is going to turn out to be because I know whatever it is she will shine.

Thank you Donna for everything you've helped me through, I will be forever grateful. xx

Now I warn you I will probably end up being biased in this as number one I would love to be famous for reasons I will explain after I tell you number two I admire famous people.

Ok so to get this out of the way I would love to be famous because I would love to be a role model for girls and have girls like my nine year old sister who currently likes the cheeky girls to look and see someone who is doing what they love, not smoking, not doing drugs, working to help charities they actually support not that they think they should support and people who are generally just good. I would love to be that person. I would also love that sort of money first and foremost so I can look after my family, they've been through a lot of crap and deserve the best, and secondly to help those who dont have enough money to look after themselves.

Id love to put my money towards teaching kids things they need to know, or teaching people who are dying from drinking dirty water how to build and maintain a well so that future generations can survive too.

So now we have that out of the way lets move onto my point of view on fame. (I understand yours may be different.)

First off Ive realised anyone can be famous now. Big Brother is a prime example of this, people sit on a couch for 90 days then get paid a ridiculous sum of money. They have no talent and yet for years after we are subject to their gossip.

Then we have people like Amy Winehouse, she started off hopeful I liked her music, she was individual and she had talent.

But now the only reason shes famous anymore is because shes on drugs. What does this really say about our society? It worries me that we are all so obsessed with a drug addict! Should we not be looking at someone who is doing well in their career? I forget, their boring.

Now this takes us to a whole other side of fame and thats the tabloids. The people who decide what we read and when. They feed us with gossip of "celebrities" who are off doing crazy things and we suck it up. But I diverge onto a totally new topic which I may actually cover in another journal!

Moving back to our famous friends I want to know why people have forgotten about those with talent. People who work damn hard for their status and who actually only gain it from doing something they love, those people have been forgotten.

But if we look way back even people like Natalie Portman or Patrick Dempsey have become famous for nothing at all. If we compare them to oh lets say Sir Isaac Newton or Charles Darwin.

Now these two did something truely incredible I mean discovering Gravity is pretty spectacular. Even if we look at people like Florance Nightingale, all these people did amazing things and really earned what they got!

So if our expectations of these chosen few have gone down so much as to accept an internet blogger as a star, what on earth are children going to be looking up to in the future?

Are people like Perez Hilton going to rule the world? Thats a scary thought!

What do you think is going to happen, and who do you admire as a celebrity? Let me know!

Take care my lovelies.

xxxxxxxxxx

Heres the results. Hope you like them!

xxxxxx

I havent got a job yet, I may not even get one because I have no experience, therefore I wont have enough money for the Simple Plan tour which started off as such an amazing plan. Yet again my plan has been shot to hell.

This week Ive been so down. So my diet has gone to crap too. Ive basically been eating rubbish and then I find out that my so called best friend has been bitching about me all weekend. Now it may not be true because the girl who told me is a total cow but I dont know what to believe anymore. I really dont.

The next few days will consist of me curling up in bed, sleeping all day, eating nothing or rubbish and watching sex and the city, wishing my life was like that. And then maybe something good will happen and Ill cheer up.

Dont expect many updates but I will try.

xxxxxxx

First on the agenda was food.....heres one I made earlier =)

My MAC apron! It needed breaking in.

The ingrediants, can you guess what Im making now?

The best parts of the mix!

Mmmmmmmm

The finished product!!

So after I made them I sat down and watched What Happens in Vegas.  Its actually really good! Not what I was expecting at all. If you havent seen it I wont ruin the surprise for you but you should definatly see it. It cheered me up!

Anywho last night (friday night) was my awards ceremony. It was great fun I got to see all the people Id been missing from school, and got attacked by ben bless him! I love that guy! I liked my make up for that night. Have a peek!

Im now watching the funniest rock videos and have to say that Liam Lynch's "Whatever" video is hilarious! Cracks me up everytime. And you HAVE to go watch Queen's "I want to break free" video now. Even if youve seen it before! Its brilliant!!!! Im not sure how Brian May can say that he didn't know Mercury was gay....I mean come on! Although having said that Mr. May is a legend and always will be.

Anywho thats all for tonight! Im off to have a nice long relaxing bath with some lush in it =)

Take care

xxxxxxxxx

So now comes the promotions!

http://www.myspace.com/officialrmc

http://www.myspace.com/rmstreetteamuk

http://www.rolemodelclothing.com

there even on buzznet!!

http://rolemodelclothing.buzznet.com/user/

Take a gander at those!

xxxxx

Do you ever get that way? Just totally overwhelemed like nothing will ever go right for you ever again.

Oh well next year my best friend and I are going to spend a month in LA and get ourselves and job and an apartment. Before that were going to apply for disneyland florida and hopefully we will get in there. One way or another I want to live in america and more to the point LA, it just seems that there everyones dreams can actually come true and my best friend and I have such huge dreams we feel the only place to go is america, the land of dreams!

My deadline is if I am not living my dream by the time I am 23 then I will most probably give up and just live a normal life. That gives me five years to get somewhere.

On a lighter note today I had a sudden inspiration for a photo.

The Modern Day Lady!

It felt good just randomly getting inspiration from pulling beads through my fingers while I watched tv!

Well I hope everyone else is doing ok.

xxxx

That is all I have left!!! On the plus side Im applying for a job at Lush and HMV. Who knows they might hire me, someone has to give me a break at some point.

Tomorrow my mom and I are going shopping to stock up on healthy food so I can finaly kick start my diet and exersice regime! Its taken me long enough.

It sucks being broke I keep seeing things I want to buy and want to do! No fair!!!

Oh well hope everyone else is doing better than me!

xxxxx